


Kankuro's Travels With His Father

by jashinist_feminist



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Bonding, Comedy, Father-Son Relationship, Humor, Road Trips
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-29
Updated: 2020-03-29
Packaged: 2021-02-28 18:13:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,160
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23381488
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jashinist_feminist/pseuds/jashinist_feminist
Summary: Karura thinks Kankuro needs to spend more time with his father. A road trip should make the perfect solution...
Comments: 6
Kudos: 12





	Kankuro's Travels With His Father

**Author's Note:**

> It's Rasa's birthday, so of course I had to publish a fic about him for his birthday!
> 
> I was inspired to make a father/son roadtrip fic after watching Jack Whitehall's travels with his father! And I couldn't help but imagine what would happen if Rasa&Kankuro went on tour XD
> 
> Kankuro is a ventriloquist in this fic where politically, things are a little more stable XD

“You never spend any time with your father, dear.”

Kankuro watched his mother sip at her coffee. Karura was casually wrapped in a long cream kaftan that skimmed over her willowy figure. A pair of gold earrings winked from her lobes, and Kankuro recognised them as a gift from his father from before their marriage.

“He doesn’t spend any time with me,” sulked Kankuro.

“Well, you are an adult now, dear,” said Karura, reaching over and straightening Kankuro’s hood. “You can reach out and make the first overture.”

“What do you want me to do,” protested Kankuro. “Take him on a world tour?”

Karura looked thoughtful. “Now that would be nice. I could get the bathrooms renovated while he’s away. You know he hates it when I say that I’m going to get a man in to fix things.”

“Mama!” Kankuro protested again. “You can’t honestly think I’m being serious. I’m not taking him on a world tour! How would I pay for it?”

“Your father’s the Kazekage, I’m sure he can help foot the bill,” suggested Karura.

“And about that. He’s the Kazekage. I can’t just…nick the Kazekage and take him on tour!”

Karura was not phased. “We could always call Uncle Melih out of retirement. It’s about time that Rasa dear had a break. He’s been on it since you were both small and the amount of grey hairs I have to cover up with henna now is shocking!”

“Um…about that,” said Kankuro.

“About what?”

“About Uncle Melih,” said Kankuro.

“What about him?”

“He’s not happy with me right now,” admitted Kankuro.

“Why not?”

“Because…of the Uncle Sasori puppet in my ventriloquist act.”

Karura gave Kankuro a strange look. “Why…what do you make the Sasori puppet say?”

“Things that Uncle Melih wouldn’t appreciate,” said Kankuro, hoping that Karura would just leave it at that.

“Naughty things?” asked Karura.

“Naughty things,” confirmed Kankuro.

“Are they very naughty things?” asked Karura.

“Very naughty things,” added Kankuro.

“Would I be cross with you for saying them?”

“Er…yes?” admitted Kankuro.

“Well, in that case, as punishment, you can take your father on tour!” ordered Karura, climbing up out of her chair overlooking Suna. “I’ll tell him to pack his bags.”

“Wait, no!” protested Kankuro. “Dad might not want to go on tour!”

* * *

That was how Kankuro found himself driving Rasa out of Suna against his will the next morning. Rasa had been stuffed into some ‘casual clothing,’ as purchased by Karura, and his case sat unhappily in the backseat.

“What kind of rude things have you been alleging about your Uncle Sasori and Uncle Melih?” scolded Rasa, wind ruffling his maroon hair.

“You would know if you watched my ventriloquist show,” retorted Kankuro.

“Why would I want to watch my son play with talking dolls?”

“I happen to like talking dolls,” snapped Kankuro. “You played dolls with Temari. You used to go to tea parties dressed as the Rainbow Magic Unicorn Queen with her entire army of dolls.”

“Yes, well, Temari was six,” bristled Rasa.

“Strangely enough, I don’t have any memories of you ever playing tea parties with me,” scolded Kankuro.

“Why would you want to want to play tea parties?” scolded Rasa.

“Why wouldn’t I want to spend time with my dad?”

Rasa swallowed. “Because I’m boring.”

Kankuro ignored the comment, and trained his eyes back on the road ahead. The suitcases in the back of the car rattled, and the satnav placed on the dashboard flickered, adapting to the road ahead. Kankuro remembered when this road was built. He had been two years old, and his father carried him on his shoulders as he couldn’t see. Temari pranced ahead, dragging her mother by the hand, his mother’s belly a slim curve with the first showing of Gaara.

Uncle Melih had laid down the first slate, and there were cheers, as a new trade link to Ame was built. Over in the city of Ame, the Amekage would be doing the same thing before her people. He remembered Rasa reaching up to wave his chubby little fist as Uncle Melih turned back to wave.

“There’s a whole of opportunities out there for you now, son,” he remembered Rasa saying.

Kankuro instead tugged on Rasa’s hair, causing him to yelp and almost drop him.

Shortly after that, Melih retired from being the Kazekage suddenly, and got married in an elaborate yet private ceremony to Sasori, and the role fell to Rasa.

“Well, where are we going first, anyway?” asked Rasa.

“Yu,” replied Kankuro. “I thought that you’d like the hot springs to relax in, since mama says you’ve got a bad back from sitting in your office chair all day.”

“Oh,” Rasa looked surprised. “That’s very thoughtful of you.”

* * *

It took them several hours to get to the land of rain. Originally, the road had directly ended at the city gates, but further build up of an already metropolitan area meant that the Amekage ordered that further roads to other lands be redirected around the main city, encircling it in a ring, to divert traffic away from the urban pedestrianised city. Kankuro drove them into the land of fire, knowing this would be the longest stretch of their day.

It was almost weird to think that when Kankuro was a child, it would take people three days to walk from one land to the other. He remembered sitting on Granny Chiyo’s knee as she told him of how she journeyed through the sands, the wind storms, with nothing more than a rucksack on her back and sandals on her feet, until Uncle Melih plucked him upright and gladly announced “not anymore!”

Kankuro passed through the land of fire, before crossing the border into the land of hot water. Much of the land of hot water was remote, and so Kankuro would have to continue driving through winding roads to get to the place that Karura had selected.

Rasa had been quiet for most of the drive, perusing through a novel that looked very new.

“Your mother said I could spend most of the time reading and relaxing. She said it would give me a chance to get through all the books I’ve got piled by my bed,” said Rasa proudly. He held up the book he had made a significant dent in. “Look! I’m halfway through.”

Kankuro finally brought the car to a stop outside of a hotel.

“So, we’re actually in Yu, the main village in the land of hot water,” explained Kankuro. “We’re just going to stay here for a few days, climatize, relax and soak in the hot springs, the saunas. Yu is a tourist village, there’s nothing going on here, we can just unwind.”

Rasa tucked his book back into his bag. “That works for me.”

They clamoured out, and Kankuro picked up his suitcase, and deciding to be nice, picked up Rasa’s suitcase for him as well. Rasa collected his book, and followed Kankuro into the resort, glancing around. Tiredness and fatigue flooded through the father and son, and they paid little attention to their surroundings.

“I booked us a twin room,” explained Kankuro, as he picked up the keys from a reception desk. “And I want the bed closest to the window!”

“That suits me fine, I don’t miss listening to you and Gaara arguing over who slept where whenever we took you children on holiday,” muttered Rasa.

“You let Gaara get first choice every time,” complained Kankuro, as he led Rasa up the stairs.

“I did not let Gaara get first choice every time we went on holiday,” retorted Rasa.

“And then when we got bunkbeds, he demanded the top,” sulked Kankuro.

“Because he was lighter and he could fit,” said Rasa.

“See? Gaara is your favourite.”

“Wrong. My favourite is Temari.”

“I knew it!” cried Kankuro.

“It’s not a hard decision,” scoffed Rasa. “She’s clever, she’s beautiful, she takes after her mother. As for you two…”

“We take after you,” finished Kankuro.

“I was going to say you take after your Uncle Yashamaru…”

Kankuro unlocked the door to their room, revealing the twin beds. True to this word, he ran over and claimed the bed closest to the window. The blinds to the window were drawn, and so he couldn’t see outside at the springs.

Both of them crawled into bed, deciding to sort out their belongings the next day.

* * *

When Kankuro and Rasa woke up the next day, they were both stiff and sore from the travelling the previous day. Kankuro clicked his joints, feeling like one of the puppets he used in his ventriloquist shows.

He washed his face in a basin, and waited for Rasa to wake up. When Rasa was awake, they put on some swimming wear, wrapped themselves in dressing gowns and headed to the hot spring of the hotel.

“Sir, please remove your shorts before you get into the water,” an attendant leant across as they reached the stone steps leading down into the water.

“What?” bristled Rasa. “And go in the water…naked?”

“Yes, sir.”

“What on earth for?” demanded Rasa.

The attendant flustered. “Hygiene reasons.”

“Surely it’s more hygienic to be clothed,” scoffed Rasa.

Kankuro felt himself turning red. As children, his mother had taken them to the Sunan baths to give them a wash. He and Temari had splashed one another, while Gaara shrieked and squealed in Karura’s arms. His father didn’t seem to be a fan of them, preferring to bathe privately at home. Uncle Melih loved the baths, and often strutted in confidently. Since his retirement, it seemed to be a regular reoccurrence, and Kankuro had even caught him sunbathing nude.

At least Uncle Sasori enjoyed the view.

“I’m not taking off my shorts,” Rasa folded his arms. “Kankuro, don’t take yours off either.”

“Dad, honestly, it’s six am and there’s no one here,” protested Kankuro.

“I’m not getting into the water, _naked_ ,” Rasa spat disgustedly.

“Dad, you’re on holiday and you agreed to relax. Mum said you had to try new things and chill out,” protested Kankuro again.

“How am I supposed to relax and enjoy my holiday when I am far too busy worrying about having it all hang out!”

“Letting what hang out?” asked Kankuro.

“Everything!”

“Dad, literally no one is here, my muscles are screaming for some hot water, and apparently it’s good for your health!” cried Kankuro. He scrambled at his shorts. “I’m exhausted after that drive. Fuck it, I’m getting in the water, I don’t care if I’m naked, I want a soak.”

“Kankuro!” yelped Rasa, as Kankuro tossed aside his dressing gown and yanked down his shorts, before clamouring into the water.

“Ahhh, dad, this is lovely!” beamed Kankuro, swimming around in the warm water. “I can feel my muscles soothing…you’ve got to get in!”

“Absolutely not,” frowned Rasa.

“Dad, I know how old you are and that mum is worried about your back,” Kankuro floated onto his back. “You will love it in here.”

Rasa turned back to the attendant. “I will take off my clothes and get in the water, but you can go away and keep everyone else out. Is that clear?”

Once the attendant had turned away, Rasa darted behind a rock, and then quickly tugged off his robe. Kankuro watched as Rasa laid his shorts on top of his robe, and then shuffled around the rock, one hand covering his privates as he held onto the rocks for support.

Rasa lowered himself into the water, and shuddered.

“Just admit it, it does feel better,” said Kankuro.

“It’s ok,” said Rasa, letting himself float on his belly.

“You can tell mum that you finally got over your phobia of public baths,” snickered Kankuro.

Rasa sent a splash across the water into Kankuro’s face. Kankuro spluttered, wiping his face, before sending a splash back.

“That’s enough,” said Rasa. “I don’t want that attendant coming back. What a job, ordering people to strip off their clothes and then staring at them all day. I couldn’t do it.”

“Some people couldn’t do being a kazekage,” added Kankuro.

“Yes, but you don’t have to look at naked people when you are a kazekage,” Rasa stretched out, swimming a neat breaststroke around the spring.

“This place is huge,” said Kankuro, slipping between some rocks. He swam a splashy doggy paddle, while Rasa followed, swimming breaststroke.

They made circles of each different spring, until they reached the last spring, and found a young silver-haired man, sprawled back against the rocks. His arms were thrust back along the side, and his eyes were closed in bliss. Around his neck dangled a silver pendant, with an unusual inverted triangle enclosed in a circle.

“Ah,” stated Rasa. “I thought I asked that we have the hot spring to ourselves.”

“Fuck off! My parents own this fucking place,” the silver-haired man opened his eyes, revealing their unusual magenta colour.

Rasa turned a funny purple colour. “Don’t you say that word in front of me!”

“Dad!” hissed Kankuro. “He’s our host!”

“I’m not your fucking host,” retorted the silver-haired man.

“I’ll ask your father to wash your mouth out with soap!” scolded Rasa.

The silver-haired man laughed. “Like hell he even could!”

“Dad, there’s loads of other springs we could sit in,” Kankuro tugged at Rasa’s shoulder. “Let’s just leave him to it!”

“So how come you’re lazing in the hot spring and letting your parents do all the hard work then?” demanded Rasa.

The man laughed. “I don’t work here, I have a very different occupation in life!”

“Like what?” scoffed Rasa.

“I might not look it, but I’m very religious,” explained the man.

Rasa and Kankuro exchanged a glance.

At their confused faces, the man took it as an invitation to carry on. “I’m a priest of a religion called Jashinism! We worship a god called Jashin, who believes that slaughter and destruction is sacred!”

Rasa leaned closer to Kankuro. “Is this something that you young people are into these days?”

Kankuro leaned back. “No, dad. Definitely not.”

“I sacrifice people everyday to my god, to please him!” announced the man. “I even killed the neighbours and mum and dad went mental, so I left to go on a killing spree. And then some blue-haired bitch and rich boy and an old man got me to join their band, and I could kill people everyday!”

“Of all things to come across on our first day of holiday, I was not expecting a serial killer!” hissed Rasa.

“Well, it was nice to meet you, er,” Kankuro paused, not sure what to call the stranger.

“Hidan!” grinned the man.

“Hidan,” said Kankuro. “But we have to go have breakfast. Come on, dad, mum will kill me if I don’t make sure you’re fed.”

Rasa swam backwards out of the cove that Hidan was settled in, before quickly swimming a breaststroke back to the entrance. He clamoured out, grabbed his dressing gown and shorts and covered himself up again. Kankuro copied, and they made their way into the dining room, where they were served by the couple who ran the hot spring.

“Should I tell her that her son-” began Rasa.

“No, dad, don’t say anything,” said Kankuro through gritted teeth.

“But surely she needs to know that her son is terrorizing the guests,” muttered Rasa.

“No, dad, she doesn’t,” said Kankuro firmly. “Just…eat the breakfast and then we’ll go out for a tour of Yu.”

Rasa stared at the plate of food in front of him. “It’s potato.”

Kankuro prodded at it. “Yeah it is.”

“Potato for breakfast,” Rasa scowled.

“It’s an abundant food in Yu, and many dishes contain potato,” explained Kankuro.

“I’m not having potato for breakfast!”

“Well, what else do you want for breakfast?” asked Kankuro.

“Something we have in Suna,” Rasa shook his head.

Kankuro stared at him. “You’ve come all the way to Yu, to try new things, and you want to eat the same boring old thing you have for breakfast in Suna.”

Rasa looked sulky. “There’s nothing wrong with your mother’s cooking!”

Kankuro shovelled a mouthful of his breakfast into his mouth. He would need all his strength for today.

* * *

Outside of the hotel, he and Rasa began to walk down to the market.

“There’s different things here than in Suna,” stated Kankuro, his eyes catching at different fabrics, trinkets, knick-knacks. “But I don’t really see any puppets. That’s a shame.”

“No, it isn’t,” shrugged Rasa.

“Do you think they have a similar art?” asked Kankuro.

“I couldn’t care less,” dismissed Rasa.

“Why don’t you like art?” complained Kankuro.

“If you wanted an art trip, maybe you should have asked Uncle Sasori to come with you.”

Kankuro looked sheepish. “Uncle Sasori isn’t happy with me right now.”

“What on earth did you say to him? About him?” asked Rasa.

“Rude things that mum would be cross about,” said Kankuro, pointing at a sign. “Oh, look! A nice little pathway! Let’s go for a walk in the woods!”

Rasa followed Kankuro down the pathway, and they glanced around at the various pools of warm water that sprung up everywhere. Kankuro dipped his toe in the water, surprised to find it warm. It felt different to Suna, where they walked on sand all day, and his toes became dusty and worn quickly. Kankuro still felt clean from the bath earlier. He glanced back to see how Rasa was handling it. His mother was right, Rasa had rarely ever been out of Suna, apart from official visits to other nations. And even then, rather than enjoy the culture, he was stifled in an office.

Kankuro couldn’t think of any worse fate.

He and Rasa carried on walking, until they found a clearing.

“Jashin is the one true god!” shouted a voice.

“Hear, hear!” cried another.

“His way is the only way!”

“Amen!”

Rasa and Kankuro stopped, taking in the sight. Several worshippers had clustered around, as Hidan stood on a giant rock, preaching.

“I want to go home,” announced Rasa.

“Kill all your neighbours!” instructed Hidan, one clenched fist raised in the air. “Every single one of them! Let their heathen bodies crumple and fall, let their blood drain onto the earth, and revel in the utter chaos and destruction of sheer slaughter!”

“Oh, shut up!” a voice rang out.

Rasa and Kankuro turned to see where the voice came out, to spot an old man sitting on a rock with a newspaper.

“Fuck off, Kakuzu! You’re ruining the show!” protested Hidan.

“It’s a shitshow!” scoffed Kakuzu, even as Hidan’s followers turned to glower at him. “I’d rather watch your parents have sex.”

“FUCK OFF!” screamed Hidan, grabbing his scythe and waving it at Kakuzu. Kakuzu just stared at Hidan, before settling a bit more comfortably against the rock, flicking over to the next newspaper page.

“I have some other things planned,” admitted Kankuro. “Perhaps we’ll enjoy Kiri a little better!”

**Author's Note:**

> Will they like Kiri? Or will things get worse?


End file.
